intimacy in a relationship

Intimacy vs Sex Quiz

The Intimacy vs Sex Quiz Which force drives your relationships? How much do you know about these two powerful forces? And which one is in the driver’s seat when it comes to your relationships? Question One: If your partner says (s)he wants to increase the intimacy in your relationship, how are you most likely to try doing that? A. Give her/him more gifts and initiate sex more often. B. Agree with her/him more. C. Make an attempt to connect with her/him emotionally, even when you sense you’re not on the same page about an issue. Question Two: In your experience, what’s the most prominent warning signal that your relationship may be on the rocks? A. You hardly have sex anymore. B. You may have sex as much as you used to, but you’re fighting more often. C. You seem to be living on two different planets and hardly spend any time together, let alone have sex with each other. Question Three: It’s often said that make-up sex is the best sex. Which of the following best matches your thoughts on why? A. The physical rush of sex takes care of all the pent-up energy from the fight and makes me feel better. B. Arguments can be mentally draining. Sex is a way of saying, “We’re still a couple”; it brings us together, instead of seeing each other as the enemy as we do when we fight. C. Sex can be just as emotional as it is physical. Make-up sex is great because if you’ve just resolved an argument together, you’re connecting on the most intimate level possible. Question Four: Foreplay and sex go hand-in-hand. Which of the following best matches your thoughts on how to ensure one follows the other? A. It’s all about getting her/him into the bedroom. If you spend enough time getting the mood right physically, sex is pretty much a certainty. B. It’s about finding the right moment. If either one of us is exhausted or distracted, there’s not much hope of sex. But when we’re both game, it’s a pretty sure thing. C. It’s all about connecting emotionally. If we waited until we were both in the mood or the kids weren’t sick, or neither one of us were stressed at work, we’d never have sex. Making a dedicated effort to connect leads to way more sex than jumping into bed together. How did you …

Lack of Intimacy in Relationship or Marriage

Lack of intimacy in relationship or marriage can be from the husband or wife’s viewpoint. Lack of intimacy could be verbal or sexual. Are you trying to figure out what to do about your marriage with no intimacy, and where does it come from? Let’s focus on what I hear the most, which is an internal struggle people have with feelings. They feel as though something is wrong with them or something is wrong with their spouse. The internal sense of feeling, “am I outside of the norm? Is the norm having this trouble?” The external struggle of what is going on is, “is my partner having an affair? Should we be going on more trips? Should I take more time off work?” They’re focusing on what to do about it as opposed to the feelings about it all.  The three things to focus on when dealing with a lack of intimacy: Where does intimacy come from? How does it make men and women different? What to do about it? We must understand first and foremost that sexuality develops in different stages as a psychological development in men and women. Women’s sexuality develops at a different stage from men, and therefore, there is some reason why women tend to focus more on verbal intimacy, and men tend to focus more on sexual intimacy. Women develop their sexuality in the oral phase of development. That’s the very first psychological stage we go through. Think about a newborn baby; they’re consumed with putting things in their mouths, consuming orally. It’s all dependent on the sites, smells, sounds that go along with that.  Men develop their sexuality in the anal phase of development. That’s when babies are focused on elimination, where to eliminate, how to eliminate, the relief upon elimination. That is why women tend to focus more on the setting of sexuality and men on the sexual act itself. What to do about it? The vital thing to remember whenever you’re dealing with your significant other is to understand that both verbal intimacy and sexual intimacy are important. What do we hear all of the time? That women tend to value more the verbal side; it’s more important to them. But they downplay the sexual act. We’ve all heard this; how women say, “all he wants is sex; all he wants is a piece, that’s all he cares about.” As if there’s …

spice up your sex life

3 Tips on How to Spice Up Your Sex Life

Spice Up Your Sex Life and Get What You Want in the Bedroom   Contrary to popular belief, there is nothing wrong with what you’re doing, or want to do in the bedroom. As long as both you and your partner are committed to the relationship and open to experimentation. There does not need to be any shame in the bedroom. Period. But how, you ask? How can I ask my partner for what I want? Here are 3 tips to a happier bedroom experience and to make it easier to spice up your sex life. One: Take advantage of the mood and the moment. Most of my patients find it most comfortable to talk about sex when they’re already having sex. In other words, use the moment to demonstrate what you like, to ask for more of it and to suggest something entirely new. Mood has a way of opening people up to new experiences. For example, try the following the next time you and your partner find yourselves between the sheets. I like it when you do that … You seem to like it when I do this … Remember the time we … Want to try it again? I’ve always had a fantasy about … are you willing to try it with me? Of course, you’ll want to build your experimental boundaries gradually, so be careful not to ask too much of your partner all at once. No matter how romantic the mood, dramatic changes can kill a moment. Two: Explore your physical/emotional connection Nothing will ever progress in your sex life unless your relationship stands on a solid emotional foundation. Experimentation requires trust. Trust that you won’t hurt or betray or shame each other, trust that you’ll respect each other’s boundaries and trust that you will keep your commitments to each other. I counsel couples and individuals alike to spend as much time reinforcing the emotional core of their relationship as they do the physical core. There are many exercises and conversations that a coach or therapist can facilitate for you. But there are an equal number of conversations that you can and should be having within the privacy or your walls. Before launching into new sexual frontiers to spice up your sex life, take some time to ensure you’re both ready and willing. Start with one or more of the following: Discuss and agree on …

The REAL Definition of Intimacy

The REAL Definition of Intimacy and how to achieve it we’ll start it I it’s this Tuesday Oh seed now I’m not the only one that gets today’s wrong think about we have big news to talk about on Thursday so I think that’s where I hit that yes stay tuned for that yeah thank you for that so what are we gonna talk about today well Laura Dabney psychotherapist. Joelle Brant relationship  coach. we’ve been talking about how to get people over the hump of coming in to get help for their relationships yes we never get her right I’m a low talker I’ve been told most about my husband is one of the counties here usually that’s selective so what gets people over the hump of coming in or afraid to come in people are embarrassed ashamed and we’re on a mission but is that too strong on a mission to get the people who are suffering to come in sooner because we’ve noticed that when people but some people come in here or call us they’ve been suffering for too long. two years decades and we just think that’s completely unnecessary so we’re we chat about what we do and you’re invited into my office so hopefully that makes it a little easier for you yes and then you had some idea yeah the one thing that I thought would be something interesting to talk about is intimacy yeah we do deal with a lot of couples married couples people in long like long term relationships where I think a lot of times people don’t really understand what true intimacy is or they have a lot of you know they have their ideas of what it is but Dr. Dabney has taught me along the lines of what the the real and true definition of an intimacy could be yeah girl I miss a lot of misconceptions that gets them in trouble so our niche here is helping executive men with relationship problems and so this is how we’ve heard about all of the mists that are out there and then I’d help people overcome those myths to make get the relationship back on track yeah I guess that’s what it is and I think we started talking about the broader definition of intimacy people think it means sex typically but the broader definition is transparency yeah that’s …