3 Porn Myths You’ll be Glad Aren’t True

3 Porn Myths that Aren’t True- From A Doctors Perspective

(Pssst: The Doctor Says it Can Actually be Good For You)

If only I had a dollar for every time I got to tell someone that there was nothing wrong with what they were doing—or wanted to do—in the bedroom. Most common worry: porn.

I’ve chosen to bust 5 of the most common myths about porn and why it’s anything but bad for you. I’ll bust three porn myths now, and two later; stay tuned!

Porn Myth #1: Porn is bad for you.

Not so fast. Historically, anti-porn arguments have primarily been moral in nature and have little basis in medical science. While porn can lead to addiction (like hundreds of other behaviors), it more often supports and reinforces acceptable sexual behavior. In a healthy, adult relationship, porn can be wonderfully useful. Not only do many couples find it fun, but they often use it to spice up or reignite their sex lives. Many watch it together for new ideas, and some occasionally watch it to help get themselves in the mood when necessary. Like many other things in life, the secret to porn use is moderation, and it is not damaging to a relationship unless one partner regularly chooses it instead of sex with their “real” partner.

Porn Myth #2: Porn is a sign that something is “wrong” with you.

Let’s be clear: porn doesn’t make you a pervert. It can, however, be a sign that you’re avoiding dealing with uncomfortable feelings or experiences. If you find yourself turning to porn instead of your real partner, or if you find it interfering in your ability to function in daily life or fulfill your responsibilities, please seek professional help to deal with your compulsive behaviors. If you use it in moderation, however—enjoy.

Porn Myth #3: Porn is the same as cheating.

Many women feel betrayed when faced with the realization that a husband or boyfriend is looking at porn—some as profoundly betrayed as if they’d been cheated on. Often, their immediate reaction is, “What’s wrong with me? Am I not enough?” Some relationships even end over porn. When my patients face this issue, I help them understand that porn and cheating are not the same things.

What is the same, however, is the feeling of betrayal. It’s legitimate for a woman to feel betrayed by a man who secretly goes to another woman for sexual satisfaction, even if she is an image on the screen. Yet the real problem is not porn. The problem lies in the fact that the couple has either not openly discussed or been able to find a resolution to their individual sexual needs.

One patient, Gail, caught her husband turning to porn soon after the birth of their first child. She thought it was because he found her unattractive, that she hadn’t been able to shed the baby weight. He explained, however, that even though her sexual energy had fallen since the baby came, his remained the same. He even admitted, he hated to wake her when she was already so sleep deprived. Porn, therefore, was simply a stop-gap for him until life returned to normal. So, unless a man has a compulsion to turn to porn instead of to his wife or partner for sexual satisfaction, it can serve as an acceptable stand-in, for times when the partners’ sexual energy or appetite differ.

Stay tuned for the next two porn myths to be busted.

It’s easy to criticize things we don’t understand. Like most sexual activities, however, porn is perfectly acceptable when engaged in by committed, consenting adults. It’s when porn begins to interfere with our relationships or our day-to-day lives that it becomes a problem.

If you have questions about your porn use or other aspects of your sexual life, call us at 757-340-8800 to talk about it for free.

 

For more topics go to www.drldabney.com and www.lauradabney.com.

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