Authoritarian, Permissive, or Authoritative Parenting Styles

What parenting style helps with an out of control child? Most importantly, without losing control of yourself.

If you want to learn how to reign your child without losing control and learn what’s the best parenting style for that, take a look below.

First, let’s discuss the basic parenting style definitions. Authoritarian definition, permissive definition, and authoritative definition.


Authoritarian Parenting Style


This is the parent that emphasizes that the parent knows best and obedience is very important.

Pro: The child thinks someone is in charge, and that is a good feeling for a child.

Con: The child feels like he gets no say in his life, and that can bring up mood problems.


Permissive Parenting Style


This is the parent who provides very little guidelines and structure and is uninvolved because they are scared they’re going to hurt their child.

Pro: The child tends to believe that the parent believes in them to handle things, and this can be a good feeling for a child.

Con: They don’t feel like anyone is in charge, and that can lead to mood symptoms.


Authoritative Parenting Style


This is the parent who provides structure and guidelines but also provides a very caring environment.

Pro: There is a nice balance. The child has structure but also has a say.

Con: Unless it’s done correctly, there will be mistakes made.


How to Get Authoritative Parenting Right


Let’s zone in on authoritative parenting and how to get it right.

Getting it right is not that easy, and it’s easy to veer off in a different direction. Let’s discuss why.

If the parent fears losing control of their child-

The authoritarian parent tends to focus on the wrong thing.

The permissive parent focuses on whether the child likes them, and being their friend.

These are not the guidelines or clues we use to determine what direction to go with parenting.

The key is to pay attention to the child’s mood and what they’re doing. Again, this sounds simple but it’s not.


Permissive parenting: It’s easy to get distracted by wondering whether your child likes you or not as opposed to what is the child doing.

Authoritarian parenting: It’s easy to get distracted by the fear of losing control instead of looking at what is going on in the child’s life.


These are the two guidelines to use to determine whether the parent needs to get more involved with the child or back off.

The authoritarian parent goes in and structures the child, which is not a problem if the situation calls for that

The permissive parent backs off and lets the child take control of their situation. There is nothing wrong with that if the situation calls for it.


That’s the key, knowing when to step in and when to pull back.


Check out the rest of the articles in this series, to learn more about the most common out of control child behavior, and how to address it.


If you have any questions about parenting, call, or text 757-340-8800.


For more helpful info go to www.drldabney.com. Or for online programs to help you, go to relationship-rx.com


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1 Comment

  1. Aria

    Used this to study for my dev psych exam!


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