Most common intimacy dreams, what do they mean?

What do sex dreams mean? A lot of people come in scared to death to admit to them or to talk about them. It’s a shame because they’re so rich. There’s so much information in those dreams that help us better understand you or help you understand you.

Dreams are not literal

Thinking and doing are oceans apart. There’s a huge difference between thinking something and doing something. If you’re afraid of dreams it’s because you understand the basics. Which we talked about here. The dream is you thinking, usually a wish. The dream is usually a fulfillment, that is true. But the idea is not to take that wish literally. Just thinking about something doesn’t literally mean you’re going to go out and do it or even literally mean that’s what you want.

To give an example to make that clear, one of the most common intimacy dreams are people coming in and saying they had a sex dream,  about someone who they real-life aren’t attracted to at all. They don’t want to admit the dream, because they think it means, they want to have sex with that person, they don’t love the person they’re with, or they want to cheat secretly. That’s where I have to stop them and say, “It doesn’t really mean that.”

Pay attention to your unconscious.

We need to be creative and let our imagination unwind. Pay attention to the unconscious, your imagination, your fantasies, your daydreaming- all of that is telling you what’s going on inside, It’s not taken so literally. Oftentimes, what happens when we start getting into it with a little more detail, we figure out what is it about that person that is attractive to you? It may not be that you are sexually attracted to them but it may be something about their quality, a personality trait,  something they do that you are really super attracted to.

For example, what do sex dreams mean when you dream about someone from work? It may be someone who is very comfortable with expressing aggression, and you are not comfortable with expressing aggression, which for men can be very difficult. So the idea of intermingling with somebody who has that personality trait is a secret way of getting that component to himself, an easy quick way. So there’s this wish that he could just take it from somebody else.

Think about the dream, look beyond just the intimacy and figure out what are the qualities or traits you wish you had, that might give you a clue.