Family quality time is such an important topic! What exactly is quality time? Many people tend to be confused about what quality time is and have a hard time wrapping their heads around it.

Dr. Laura Dabney discusses the four top-quality times people spend together and the caveats, so you are no longer confused.

Time Itself

We all seem to have a concept that we should or must spend time together. What does that mean, right? First, the should and must have to go out the window; there is no such thing. Many people think they don’t spend enough time with their kids or that someone else should spend more time with them as if there is a scale measuring the right thing to do.

The right thing to do is what works for all of you. There is no checklist for you to go to, to determine the right amount of time.

Do what works for you and the other family members.

What to do During that Time

What makes time quality? It’s easy to get hung up on how to spend quality time. Some people have an idea that quality time is doing something. Such as doing something exciting, adventurous, or new. That’s when we get into trouble when we start defining the quality time by ourselves. It may be great for you, but the key is to make sure it’s great for the other family members.

Don’t Discount Talking

Talking can be one on one or in a group. Your kids learn how to have discussions from you, no matter what their age is. You are giving your children a very important template, even though it’s all unconscious. The template being- I listen to you, and then I share with you, and we agree on what to do with that.

The key part of the template is listening, no matter their age, just accept it all from their viewpoint. Parents or siblings may want to step in and say, “that’s not right,” or “that’s not how I think.” Remember, no criticism, this is a chance for your child to vent and talk. They could share the craziest idea or thought in the world, but let them be comfortable with their thoughts and ideas because that is what makes good emotional health.

If you want to share something with them, do it in the form of an experience you had. For example, “I remember when I was your age and tried that, it really taught me not to trust everyone who comes across my path.” Give lessons in terms of what you’ve learned. You don’t want to start giving lectures, criticizing, or putting in your two cents on what they’re doing or thinking.

This is the importance of family and spending quality time in a nutshell.

If you have any questions, call us at 757-340-8800. For more topics, click here.