If you’re wondering how to get sober and say no to alcohol avoid these four things I see people do often.
1. Don’t be a dictator
Don’t be a dictator to yourself, and don’t put that role on someone else.
“You shouldn’t,” “don’t you,” “If I see you…”
Dictatorships don’t work in countries for a reason. People get resentful and they start acting out in strange ways and it hurts relationships. Don’t mistreat yourself or let anyone else mistreat you. This is not a case for that.
2. Punishment- Reward System
Mary Tyler Moore talks about this in her writings on her alcohol use, where she attached alcohol use to a reward. If she had a great day, she linked that with celebrating with alcohol. I’ve also seen the opposite where people who did poorly comfort themselves with alcohol, or if they had a bad day, they punish themselves by not drinking.
Any of these links with alcohol and punishment-reward are false and are going to spoil a lot of your life because the goal is to be able to think clearly about celebrating to celebrate and to face the problem if you had a bad day. By linking alcohol, it’s only going to sabotage your progress.
3. It’s not a group thing.
Do not force everybody around you to not drink to make it easier for you. It’s not other people’s job to help you with this; this is your issue. You need to be able to set this up independently of anybody. By putting it on someone else, you’re straining your relationship with them because you’re placing responsibility on them that is not theirs. Then, you’ll end up resentful when they can’t follow it.
4. Don’t succumb to peer pressure.
Oddly enough, when people start pressuring you into something, it’s usually because they have a problem with it. If they start saying things like, “Come on, just one drink, what’s wrong with you? You’re no fun.” If they start pressuring you like that, that’s a red flag, and you might want to reconsider such a relationship, but just simply say, thanks for your concern, I’m fine, I got it.