Let’s talk about the Intimacy Now Online Course
And how to overcome intimacy issues
The Intimacy Now online course is my course that offers a way to help people in areas and places and situations that I have never been able to reach before. It teaches the participants how to overcome intimacy issues and solve destructive relationship patterns.
Any barriers preventing you from seeing me, such as time, distance, space, money, whatever it is… Is taken away with this course, which I love. The more people I reach, the more relationships I can change, and that’s what I love to do.
The Intimacy Now online course was started last spring, and we had a great turnout. We also received great feedback which was very uplifting to me, and very rewarding for me. But more importantly, the people who joined got great satisfaction out of the program. Naming things like, “It was the first time I had practical psychiatric help as opposed to psychobabble.”
They were able to apply it to their situation and benefit from it. Some people said that they were happy for the first time in their relationship, ever, which is pretty big. And other people talked about the different ideas and advice that I gave and how it helped them turn something specific around, such as their ability to talk about negative emotions with their spouse or significant other. What to do about those tense moments after a fight, how to give your spouse what they need without being a yes-man- you know to lose your backbone, how to get what you need, how to handle being on a separate page and on and on. Lots of great feedback.
This course was me compiling every aha moment in the therapy session. Killer advice from killer therapy sessions where someone said, “Oh my gosh, I never thought about it that way,” or “Oh my gosh, that worked so well.” I took all those moments, and it boiled down to six pieces of advice to fix the most destructive relationship patterns. And teach couples how to overcome intimacy issues.
Questions and Answers
Q. How can you answer my question on a general course because it’s so specific?
A. Well, after doing this for 20 years- helping professionals of all kinds to fix their relationship problems, really, everybody’s details are different- that is true. But it all comes down to these underlying patterns of behavior in the relationship that are destructive. While the details may be different, patterns are universal in all kinds of relationship problems. I didn’t have one person come back from the last course and say I didn’t address their problem. Because it’s about the patterns and addressing those and changing those.
Q. How can I do this without my spouse, she’s the problem, or they’re the problem?
A. The idea is if it’s a pattern- if you have a problem, the whole relationship has a problem. If your spouse has a problem, then your relationship has a problem; and you’re part of that. It’s a system, so if you change the system, the system changes. If you change, the system changes. So whether the problems coming from somewhere else, this program addresses that. If it’s something you know you’re doing or you think you’re doing, that’s great too, and this program fixes that. It’s about handling any problem any threat to your relationship. You, your wife, the in-laws, the kids- it shouldn’t matter. You can only control yourself, so if you change, the situation will change for the better.
If you don’t fix a problem, the problem gets worse, and then there’s a bigger problem.
Q. What are the specifics within the course?
A. The term I use is, there are six modules, you can think about in six chapters or six sections.
I’m calling them modules and in each module is the following:
- A 20-minute webinar from me describing how to fix a common destructive relationship pattern.
- A 15-min exercise, to help take what you learn and put it into reality.
- Bonus material, this is a bonus because if you feel you understand the lesson from the webinar, great. If you think you don’t quite get it or can’t see how it applies to your situation or to real life that’s what the articles and video bonuses help nail down for you. The bonuses range from three minutes to read an article, to an hour for some of the videos. There’s a wide variety in there and several to choose from depending on what you have time for.
- Email coaching with me
Q. What is Email coaching?
A. Email coaching is a way for me to follow along on your journey through email. The reason I think a lot of self-help books don’t help is that they may be informative, they may be able to teach you something, but they’ve fallen down in actually getting you to change your pattern or relationships or change your life because it’s not personalized enough. You can only get so personal in a book, and I can only get so personal in this course, and that’s why I give lots of examples, by the way, to help you with that. But if you want to ask me questions or send your exercises to me, send your results to me, ask me questions, or even to get kudos from me for doing a job well done, then that’s what the email coaching is for, for me to personally guide you through the course so that you can have the optimal experience possible.
Those are the four pieces that are in the modules. These modules are emailed to you every Monday, for 6 Mondays in a row. It is starting on September 30th.
Q. What if I work on Mondays? I’m going on a trip in October. I can’t fit that into my work life.
A. The modules are being emailed to you on a Monday, but you can do them whenever you want. The course is yours forever, yours to keep. Just like having a book, you can refer back to the emails, or you can do it whenever you want if you want to do it on a Tuesday after work, great. If you want to wait until you’re on vacation to have more time, that’s great.
It’s mobile-friendly, it’s anywhere friendly, it’s anytime friendly.
I try to remove all the barriers that traditional therapy puts on you so that you don’t have those anymore. No excuse anymore.
When the modules are emailed to you, you can do them at any time because they’re yours forever.
Q. How can I do this without my spouse? She’s the problem.
A. You’re half of the relationship. The idea is if you make the change, then the relationship will change. However, you can do this with your spouse. In fact, because it’s yours forever, you can either do it first and then have your spouse do it or you guys can do it together.
It is meant to get you thinking about your behavior and learn how to overcome intimacy issues, so if you’re both doing it, that’s also great. It definitely can be yours and you both can email me. That’s part of the email coaching; it’s unlimited email coaching.
Q. What are some examples of how the webinars included in the course will help?
A. One participant who said his wife has this way of passively-aggressively mumbling under her breath and he’d respond by asking, “what did you say?” and she says nothing. This irritates him because he keeps asking what is she said. So his question to me was, “what do I do with this?” And my answer was to stop asking, don’t say anything as a matter of fact.” This passive-aggressive behavior is one of the modules. How to deal with both passive behavior and aggressive behavior and passive-aggressive behavior.
This is an example of where somebody’s whole relationship turned around on that advice. He stopped answering her and then she had two choices, she could either say it again louder, that he would only respond if he heard it clearly or she would drop it. Whereas both of those worked for him and she had to come up with a new way of doing something simply because he made the change, he stopped engaging in the behavior. That was one of the biggest lessons for him.
Example:
Another member said one of the main problems in his relationship was his frustration over the ending of their sex life. And because he had mistakenly attacked his wife for that and criticized her by saying, “something’s wrong with you, you need to go to the doctor.” He made it sound like it was nice, but it was really a criticism that something was wrong with her. They ended up having arguments, and so he was afraid to approach the topic at all. You can imagine if you don’t approach the topic at all, it doesn’t get better. He was hoping that it was magically going to get better; she would magically take on the problem as her own and create the sex life he wanted or needed.
In another module, I helped him understand that, and I gave him a template of how to address these touchy subjects. The template he used, he was shocked to find that it worked, he wanted to think it was the topic. It wasn’t the topic; it was his approach. Once he changed his approach, he was able to not come across as attacking or critical, so guess what? She was much more receptive to that, very empathic and didn’t know he was hurt, sad, irritated about the loss of their sex life and therefore wanted to help that. She’d rather soothe him; she didn’t want him to be upset because she cares about him, so she was much more motivated to change. But he was able to use this template to tell her how he felt, and their lives changed, their relationship changed. He learned how to overcome intimacy issues.
I hope you will consider purchasing the Intimacy Now online course.
It’s a great way to get a psychiatrist in your pocket, for you to have walking alongside you and learn how to overcome intimacy issues. People say to me, can’t you come home with me? Can’t you be at my house and help me figure this out? This is as close as I can get to moving in with you, but I can be there whenever you need me, and the information is right there when you need it. It’s a very quick way to get the results that you need and want. It’s a very cost-effective way to get the results that you want and time effective as well.
For more topics, go to www.drldabney.com.
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