Let’s talk about love. More specifically, dealing with heartbreak.
How do we move on from love?
Remember, when a relationship ends, it gives us a chance for a better relationship.
What are the normal feelings involved with breakups and heartache? The two main emotions are sadness and anger.
This may seem obvious, but for some people, it’s not. After a heartbreak, a lot of people are concerned that their sadness is going on for too long, or it’s too much; but there is no such thing when dealing with heartbreak.
Be Curious
The important point here is to be curious about the sadness. Instead of being concerned the sadness is going on for too long, be curious. Ask yourself questions such as, why am I sad? Why is this going on? To figure out what is going on.
Interestingly, a lot of people who are afflicted with sadness (think it’s wrong) bury it. This is the same with anger, it is a normal part of breaking up, whether you instigated it or not. Anger and sadness are normal, no timeframe or amount is right or wrong.
People who are afflicted with anger and sadness will bury them. Then guess what? The emotions stick around longer.
Talk About Your Feelings
If your sadness is sticking around, the goal is to help you bring it up and out, not bury it. My advice is always to talk about it. Find someone you can trust and talk it out.
A common complaint I hear is, “I talk about it all of the time with my best friend, and they’re going to get sick of me.”
Your best friend is a grownup and can tell you when they’re sick of it. Do not assume that somebody doesn’t want to hear you, they may be just fine with it. If they’re not, find somebody else to talk to, don’t take it as a sign that you’re too much.
Journal Your Feelings
Another helpful option is to journal. Journal with a purpose, where you are journaling to get these feelings up and out. If you’d rather not write, try dictating. Turn your phone on and dictate, this is helpful for some people to hear it back. Hearing it back can help you have some relief in dealing with heartbreak.
Go ahead and feel the anger and sadness it’s normal. If you set aside time to feel these emotions enough, it will start to dissipate.
If you ever need guidance, you can always call and text 757-340-8800, or go to www.drldabney.com.
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