How to Overcome Intimacy Issues

  Let’s talk about the Intimacy Now Online Course And how to overcome intimacy issues The Intimacy Now online course is my course that offers a way to help people in areas and places and situations that I have never been able to reach before. It teaches the participants how to overcome intimacy issues and solve destructive relationship patterns. Any barriers preventing you from seeing me, such as time, distance, space, money, whatever it is… Is taken away with this course, which I love. The more people I reach, the more relationships I can change, and that’s what I love to do. The Intimacy Now online course was started last spring, and we had a great turnout. We also received great feedback which was very uplifting to me, and very rewarding for me. But more importantly, the people who joined got great satisfaction out of the program. Naming things like, “It was the first time I had practical psychiatric help as opposed to psychobabble.” They were able to apply it to their situation and benefit from it. Some people said that they were happy for the first time in their relationship, ever, which is pretty big. And other people talked about the different ideas and advice that I gave and how it helped them turn something specific around, such as their ability to talk about negative emotions with their spouse or significant other. What to do about those tense moments after a fight, how to give your spouse what they need without being a yes-man- you know to lose your backbone, how to get what you need, how to handle being on a separate page and on and on. Lots of great feedback. This course was me compiling every aha moment in the therapy session. Killer advice from killer therapy sessions where someone said, “Oh my gosh, I never thought about it that way,” or “Oh my gosh, that worked so well.” I took all those moments, and it boiled down to six pieces of advice to fix the most destructive relationship patterns. And teach couples how to overcome intimacy issues. Questions and Answers Q. How can you answer my question on a general course because it’s so specific? A. Well, after doing this for 20 years- helping professionals of all kinds to fix their relationship problems, really, everybody’s details are different- that is true. But it all comes down …

How to Be Selfish

  It’s imperative to know how to be selfish, to have better relationships. It may sound crazy to say you need to learn how to be selfish in order to help your relationship, but it’s absolutely true. I’ve helped thousands of successful men create the relationship of their dreams, and it all starts the same way. Are you helping everyone, but yourself? These men come to me, having helped everybody in their lives. Including their communities, their co-workers, their families, and their partners, but they don’t know the first thing about themselves. Knowing Yourself If you can’t understand how you feel, what you want,  what your dreams are then you’re never going to make that a reality. If you don’t know your hopes, and your thoughts, you’re never going to be able to express them well and then create them. It’s not only okay to be selfish to take the time to understand you, but it’s also a necessary first step to get the relationship that you’ve always wanted. It’s not mean to be selfish, and it’s essential to take the time to learn about yourself and all these particular areas. That way, you can then reach out and create fabulous relationships. Remember, it’s imperative to be selfish to have better relationships. Find more articles about being SELFish and relationships at drldabney.com and lauradabney.com

Beyond Boundaries- Simple Fixes for your Relationship Problems

We are here to talk Beyond Boundaries and give  Simple Fixes for Your Relationship Problems. We have some tips on how to fix your relationship problems.  These are the quick tips we give beyond just boundary setting, which is huge! There are some other quick down and dirty statements that go beyond boundaries, you can make to stop some troublesome patterns in your relationship. The one mentioned most is walking away. But walking away is a little passive-aggressive if you’re in the middle of something or your partner is in the middle of something and you walk away. You’re going stir them up because they’re not going to know where you are or why you just left, or if you are coming back. That can be hurtful to them.  So instead of just walking away, you can use a bridge statement. You can say, “I’m going to leave, this is getting a little too much, but let’s revisit it after dinner.” Making that statement versus just walking away helps keep it from being torture for the other person. Walking Away Without a Statement Another way to go beyond boundaries is there are times when walking away without a statement is appropriate. The first example walking away with a bridge statement is if someone’s inappropriately aggressive, such as name-calling, yelling aggressively; when you start to experience anxiety discomfort. If they’re passive-aggressive, such as mumbling under their breath, saying something and passing- that’s the time to simply walk away.  What that’s doing is the other person is being inappropriate, and they’re drawing you into an argument you can’t win. Right? You didn’t hear them, they claim they didn’t say anything, so you get into those dead-end fights, going back and forth. Don’t take the bait, and simply ignore it. Walk into the next room,(not angrily) remove yourself. The idea is that your partner needs to learn, and this is how to help them learn that they’ll only get your attention if they approach you appropriately. They’re not going to lose you if they’re not appropriate. One Way Statements When going beyond boundaries, there are one-way Statements or simple statements are where you say what your emotion is in light of what they do. But there are times where just saying how you feel and leaving it at that, has a lot more impact. An example would be, “oh, that hurts.” These statements …

Relationship Patterns and Passivity Part 2

Relationship Patterns and Passivity People come to us for relationship issues and say, “Something’s wrong with my relationship; I’m unhappy with it.” But they’re not able to say what’s going on, except some details here and there; they’re not able to see the overall picture. We’re always encouraging you to step above the weeds and look in. What’s really going on? What are the toxic relationship patterns?   Passivity Today, we were going to talk about something less obvious, and that is passivity. I can’t count how many times have people come in and say, “Well, I just let him have his way because then there wouldn’t be a fight, it’s just easier.” My response to that is, “Is this easy? You haven’t described one easy thing.” Or you let them get their way, but then you’re so angry, and it manifests differently, and that’s destructive passivity. A lot of people think passivity is being kind and will get people to love you. “If I just let everybody have their way, they’re going to love me so much.” But it never happens, it doesn’t work that way. There is constructive passivity, and then there’s destructive passivity. I’ve had people look at me when I say that like I’ve got two heads. When it comes to the passivity, what would be the most significant behavior that people don’t realize is destructive passivity? Destructive passivity tends to be giving in to something when you don’t want to. You’re pretending, lying shall we say, that you’re okay with going to the in-laws for the 6th Thanksgiving in a row; when you don’t really feel that way, this is not a good thing.   Destructive Passivity Behavior The destructive passivity behavior I always compare to is if you’re going down the street, and there’s a child or an animal in the road, and you keep on walking. There’s a car coming- something terrible is going to happen, and you just kept walking and not judging, just saying. It’s not doing something at that moment, where problems are going to happen. Not admitting that you don’t want to go somewhere or do something when somebody does is a car coming into your life, it’s going to be a problem. Either that resentment of having to do it is going to make you blow up at some point or do something passive-aggressive. Or your partner is …