How to Overcome Intimacy Issues

  Let’s talk about the Intimacy Now Online Course And how to overcome intimacy issues The Intimacy Now online course is my course that offers a way to help people in areas and places and situations that I have never been able to reach before. It teaches the participants how to overcome intimacy issues and solve destructive relationship patterns. Any barriers preventing you from seeing me, such as time, distance, space, money, whatever it is… Is taken away with this course, which I love. The more people I reach, the more relationships I can change, and that’s what I love to do. The Intimacy Now online course was started last spring, and we had a great turnout. We also received great feedback which was very uplifting to me, and very rewarding for me. But more importantly, the people who joined got great satisfaction out of the program. Naming things like, “It was the first time I had practical psychiatric help as opposed to psychobabble.” They were able to apply it to their situation and benefit from it. Some people said that they were happy for the first time in their relationship, ever, which is pretty big. And other people talked about the different ideas and advice that I gave and how it helped them turn something specific around, such as their ability to talk about negative emotions with their spouse or significant other. What to do about those tense moments after a fight, how to give your spouse what they need without being a yes-man- you know to lose your backbone, how to get what you need, how to handle being on a separate page and on and on. Lots of great feedback. This course was me compiling every aha moment in the therapy session. Killer advice from killer therapy sessions where someone said, “Oh my gosh, I never thought about it that way,” or “Oh my gosh, that worked so well.” I took all those moments, and it boiled down to six pieces of advice to fix the most destructive relationship patterns. And teach couples how to overcome intimacy issues. Questions and Answers Q. How can you answer my question on a general course because it’s so specific? A. Well, after doing this for 20 years- helping professionals of all kinds to fix their relationship problems, really, everybody’s details are different- that is true. But it all comes down …

Common Dreams and the Meaning Behind Them

     Common Dreams About Intimacy Let’s discuss the common dreams about intimacy that Dr. Laura Dabney hears a lot about. This one is pretty interesting when it comes to dreams about being intimate in inappropriate places. I want to remind you just because you have a dream does not mean you should take it literally. It does not mean that you’re automatically going to change your behavior and start acting inappropriately or anything like that. The dream is trying to tell you something. Common dreams of wanting to do something intimate in an inappropriate place. This may mean you’re doing something outside your comfort zone or you’re breaking a rule you would never consciously consider doing. This could mean you’ve been holding yourself back somewhere or you’re conflicted about something. For example, do you feel like the guidelines at work are making you feel stifled? Do you have a chance to cross another line somewhere but aren’t even considering it? That would include taking a risk somewhere, so instead of joining the family business, you want to pursue an art career. Stepping out of your comfort zone Dreams about stepping out of your comfort zone can often mean that you lost touch with a part of yourself where you’re allowing yourself to be stifled by someone or something else. A part of you wants to rebel against that, that’s the side that your dream is trying to tell you to consider. Another interpretation of this dream is that you already stepped out of your comfort zone and something that you’ve done is now making you feel anxious. It could be that you took a risk. Or you told a specific someone how you felt. Maybe you’re anxious because you don’t know what’s going to happen from telling this person something. So now, this dream may be telling you that you are anxious about what could happen. It could be something you said, or you think someone’s going to judge you for being outlandish or inappropriate and remove themselves from you. There’s so many different layers and levels of things when it comes to dreams. Dreams about stepping outside your comfort zone can mean you’re not sure you can you live with the rebellious part of you. You fear it may make you lose control or lose someone you care about. If you are having that type of dream …

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Intimacy vs Sex Quiz

The Intimacy vs Sex Quiz Which force drives your relationships? How much do you know about these two powerful forces? And which one is in the driver’s seat when it comes to your relationships? Question One: If your partner says (s)he wants to increase the intimacy in your relationship, how are you most likely to try doing that? A. Give her/him more gifts and initiate sex more often. B. Agree with her/him more. C. Make an attempt to connect with her/him emotionally, even when you sense you’re not on the same page about an issue. Question Two: In your experience, what’s the most prominent warning signal that your relationship may be on the rocks? A. You hardly have sex anymore. B. You may have sex as much as you used to, but you’re fighting more often. C. You seem to be living on two different planets and hardly spend any time together, let alone have sex with each other. Question Three: It’s often said that make-up sex is the best sex. Which of the following best matches your thoughts on why? A. The physical rush of sex takes care of all the pent-up energy from the fight and makes me feel better. B. Arguments can be mentally draining. Sex is a way of saying, “We’re still a couple”; it brings us together, instead of seeing each other as the enemy as we do when we fight. C. Sex can be just as emotional as it is physical. Make-up sex is great because if you’ve just resolved an argument together, you’re connecting on the most intimate level possible. Question Four: Foreplay and sex go hand-in-hand. Which of the following best matches your thoughts on how to ensure one follows the other? A. It’s all about getting her/him into the bedroom. If you spend enough time getting the mood right physically, sex is pretty much a certainty. B. It’s about finding the right moment. If either one of us is exhausted or distracted, there’s not much hope of sex. But when we’re both game, it’s a pretty sure thing. C. It’s all about connecting emotionally. If we waited until we were both in the mood or the kids weren’t sick, or neither one of us were stressed at work, we’d never have sex. Making a dedicated effort to connect leads to way more sex than jumping into bed together. How did you …

how to spice up your sex life

3 Tips on How to Spice Up Your Sex Life

Spice Up Your Sex Life and Get What You Want in the Bedroom   Contrary to popular belief, there is nothing wrong with what you’re doing, or want to do in the bedroom. As long as both you and your partner are committed to the relationship and open to experimentation. There does not need to be any shame in the bedroom. Period. But how, you ask? How can I ask my partner for what I want? Here are 3 tips to a happier bedroom experience and to make it easier to spice up your sex life. One: Take advantage of the mood and the moment. Most of my patients find it most comfortable to talk about sex when they’re already having sex. In other words, use the moment to demonstrate what you like, to ask for more of it and to suggest something entirely new. Mood has a way of opening people up to new experiences. For example, try the following the next time you and your partner find yourselves between the sheets. I like it when you do that … You seem to like it when I do this … Remember the time we … Want to try it again? I’ve always had a fantasy about … are you willing to try it with me? Of course, you’ll want to build your experimental boundaries gradually, so be careful not to ask too much of your partner all at once. No matter how romantic the mood, dramatic changes can kill a moment. Two: Explore your physical/emotional connection Nothing will ever progress in your sex life unless your relationship stands on a solid emotional foundation. Experimentation requires trust. Trust that you won’t hurt or betray or shame each other, trust that you’ll respect each other’s boundaries and trust that you will keep your commitments to each other. I counsel couples and individuals alike to spend as much time reinforcing the emotional core of their relationship as they do the physical core. There are many exercises and conversations that a coach or therapist can facilitate for you. But there are an equal number of conversations that you can and should be having within the privacy or your walls. Before launching into new sexual frontiers to spice up your sex life, take some time to ensure you’re both ready and willing. Start with one or more of the following: Discuss and agree on …

Common Problems with Blended Families

The Three Biggest Parenting Mistakes in Blended Families Divorce and remarriage are significant life events, and when those changes also involve kids, the stakes multiply for everyone. Many couples, of course, create happy blended families with lasting bonds, while others face challenges their marriage cannot withstand. What’s the difference? Learn about the three most common and biggest mistakes parents make when blending their new families, and what it takes to avoid them. Mistake #1: Allowing step-parents to discipline their step-kids Overstepping disciplinary boundaries is, by far, one of the most common problems with blended families that I see. In some cases, parents want the blended family to function just as the original family did. In others, biological parents feel overwhelmed by the demands of parenting and want a partner to share the responsibility. Some others worry that if a parent does not discipline a child, the child will not respect them. But here’s the bottom line: Disciplinary decisions are the sole responsibility of the child’s biological parents. Step-parents have no disciplinary role. Here’s why: By the time we start disciplining our biological kids, we’ve had years to develop a relationship with them. Over the years, that closeness helps balance the inevitable distancing that follows discipline. In other words, a healthy relationship helps cushion the blow of discipline. When a step-parent disciplines a step-child without that relationship cushion, they are bound to alienate that child forever. The parent-child relationship required for healthy and effective discipline takes years to develop and cannot be rushed. Mistake #2: “Pushing” relationships It’s a natural instinct to try and force the new family members to like each other. A divorced mother wants her kids to like her new husband. A divorced dad wants his kids to like their new step-siblings. A new step-father wants his wife’s kids to like him. However, parents must remember they cannot force their kids to like anyone, including a step-parent, step-sibling, or an ex-spouse. After all, this change in family circumstance was not the child’s choice. Instead of pushing relationships, maintain as many of the old family routines as possible while everyone learns to adjust. Emphasize respect and allow relationships to grow at their own speed. Blending new families can be a long process. It is filled with trial and error. The more parents can maintain stability for their kids, the better it is for everyone to adjust in both the …