Why do People Watch Porn? From a Doctor’s Perspective.

 Top 3 porn-related reasons I see people in my office A Doctor’s perspective on why do people watch porn or why they’re porn addicted. Whether you’re the one using it or someone you know does. This can be a tough topic in a relationship, but it doesn’t need to be. Reason number one- Conflict with intimacy. Why do people watch porn? Some people have trouble with intimacy. I don’t mean they just make mistakes, but they actually have a conflict with it. They’re conflicted about the closeness. They want the closeness, they’re in a relationship, they love their significant other, but they have connected intimacy with something bad. Typically, the ‘something bad’ is: being taken over, being controlled, losing their individuality.  They want the closeness, but then they feel as though they’ll lose themselves. Now, a lot of people resolve this with pornography because it’s a way to put a wedge between them and their significant other. It’s a way for them to get some relief from that sensation of being too close. Somehow, it’s tough for people to maintain intimacy for that reason, and it comes out in that fashion. Reason number 2- Conflict with aggression. There are a lot of people who have a conflict with aggression and a conflict with anger. They know it’s an emotion, they know it’s a normal emotion, but they have so much guilt about it, that they tend to bury it. They tend to think anger is wrong, bad, mean; something they need to avoid at all costs. This is what I call an enemy emotion, where they shove it away. Somehow they don’t realize anger is normal and expressing that anger is required, or it’s going to blow or implode. They end up hurting themselves with it, by not dealing with the anger, or expressing it because they feel so guilty and they want to bury. The anger stays under the surface. So, they use pornography as sort of a weapon. “I’m not going to connect with you. I’m going to connect with my magazine,” or where ever pornography is being viewed. And then, of course, it ends up hurting the significant other, because they end up finding out about the pornography. The S.O. has no idea why their partner is using porn because the partner has not expressed the anger. And they may not even be consciously aware of …

Grand Opening in Richmond, VA!!

We are live from Dr. Laura Dabney’s grand opening in Richmond, VA.  Look at how amazing the new office is. I hope you enjoy this quick video! Grand Opening in Richmond, VA, address: Dr. Laura Dabney’s new office is located at: 1545-B Nuckols Road, Glen Allen, VA 23059 11545-B is located in the middle of the Grove Park Office Park There is plenty of free parking. If you or anybody in the area is looking for a psychiatrist or a life coach reach out to us, we take referrals and things of that nature. Look us up, find us, and give us a call at 757-340-8800. We also have the office in Virginia Beach if you or anyone you know need services in that area as well.   If you prefer to schedule a call, click here! Check out more blog posts at www.drldabney.com.

Why Do We Always Give More Than We Get??

Hi I am  Dr. Laura Dabney relationship psychiatrist almost forgot my name! This is relationship coach Joelle Brant and we hope you had a fabulous Thanksgiving and I just realized we haven’t even talked about yeah so how was your Thanksgiving good family in town everyone together I feel like I gained a million pounds but good how’s yours good I had family in town and a friend giving friends giving Thanksgiving friends giving so best of both worlds that’s great it was really great and I had your mom’s cake always a huge success truly I’m a foodie people know everybody follows me on Instagram knows my foodie have that kicks of pastry chefs all around the world hmm her mom’s cake is by far everybody comments on I raised about it yes you do it’s good so it’s good beyond that look the Lola list for food is a coveted position whatever I need to do to hold on to that we are here talking about why okay so we tend to talk to people that say since we’re talking about Lola well we have questions this is our welcome at putting out to you anybody who’s squirrelly about coming in meeting help for emotional relationship problems we’re trying to fix that because really I challenge you to find anybody who’s been super successful that they didn’t have a mentor or a guide of some sort so it’s it’s no different you know you have a problem we’re here you’re there just need to give us a call or step in or listen to this we’ll see if we can help you but so we do have a lot of the same questions get asked and so those are the things we were dressing hoping that it reaches you or someone that you know know love and last we saw that we touched on this last week we tend to get a lot the question your why did why does everybody else always get their way or why why did people my lives seem to have a good life and I’m I don’t and we got to the bottom of that being anger is anger is usually an emotion that people want to discard or pretend they don’t have or have labeled it as the bad bad or the enemy emotion right so if you don’t have the …

Parenting mistakes for which you can let yourself off the hook

hello welcome to another Tuesday I’m Dr. Laura Dabney and we’ve been talking about parenting all month and we’ve been talking about things not to do as a parent things that look like a good idea but not to do as a parent so today I want to talk to you about things you can let go of as a parent the guilt over some mistake you may have made as a parent and how to let that go because guilt excessive guilt inappropriate guilt you can get in the way of your relationship with your child right if you’re feeling like you have to make something up or you have to explain or get them to finally I don’t know let you off the hook that’s gonna put a burden on your child that they don’t need so you can do this yourself and I’m gonna walk you through a couple of those but just again as a brief intro I’m dr. Laura Dabney a relationship psychiatrist and typically I deal with executive or professional men who are struggling with some relationship themselves but here I like to say I’m opening my door up to all of you anybody who is struggling with an emotional problem and still has trouble picking up that bone so I’m gonna step into your place or you can virtually step into my place and see what this is all about and see how I do things and hopefully that will ease you into treatment with somebody when you’re ready okay so today the parenting the guilt oh such a tough job that you can’t leave and people’s lives depend on it so pretty tricky so what are these subjects or problems that people come to me with baby themselves up and I’m trying to say no no no that’s it’s not as big a problem as you’re making it out one is the general topic of a loss of control so let’s say you may be yelled at your child or maybe you showed a strong emotion you know about something else they like you were angry at your spouse or an argument spilled over or you punched them for a longer time than you think you should have something like that where you let a little bit of overboard and you wish you hadn’t instead of beating yourself up over that remember …