Worried About Your Teenagers’ Disrespectful Behavior?

What do you do with your teenagers’ disrespectful behavior? This disrespectful behavior may not be a sign of sociopath or narcissist behavior because it’s a way of separating, and it’s normal teenage behavior. But, you may be wondering how do you keep the behavior from spinning out of control; that way, they don’t become a narcissist or sociopath. The answer is: YOU HAVE TO CHANGE. My patients who are parents often make the same mistake, which is they try to change their child. “You can’t talk that way; you’re being nasty, you can’t be rude.” The problem with this is, it’s just telling them how to behave. How do we all respond to that? We don’t like to be told what to do, and neither does your teenager, it’s not going to work. Remember, the emotional goal for your teenager to not be a sociopath or narcissist is to be able to express their emotions well — especially anger, sadness, and neediness. What I mean by changing yourself is you have to express anger, sadness, and neediness and be a role model, instead of telling your child what to do. Examples: Let’s say your child is name-calling. Stop them immediately and say, “It’s hurtful when you use name-calling when you’re talking to me, I can’t even hear what you are saying. I’m going off to the garage, if you can tell me this later without the name-calling, I’d be glad to listen.” Let’s say your child is shouting. You can say, “It really irritates me when you’re shouting at me. It makes it very hard for me to hear what you are saying. I’m going off to the kitchen if you can say this without shouting I’d be glad to listen.” I was talking to a parent, and he was doing a favor by picking up his child from the bus that way, his child did not have to take the dreaded bus. His child was using provocative language, and he felt like the child was trying to get under his skin by saying things that were personally offensive to him. So, the next time he could say, “I’m not going to pick you up from school anymore because it is very upsetting to me. I need to have a car ride home that does not involve this provocative language, So I will not be picking you up from school …

How to Avoid Raising a Narcissist or Sociopath

Let’s talk about narcissism and sociopaths. Specifically, how to avoid raising a narcissist or sociopath. I thought I’d combine the two and help teach you how to avoid raising a narcissist or sociopath. How to avoid raising a narcissist or sociopath You don’t want to deal with narcissists or sociopaths anywhere; you certainly don’t want your child to have that kind of problem. Narcissism and sociopathy are descriptive titles of personality disorders. The larger group is personality disorders. Personality disorders are defined as not monsters and horrible people that you hear in the media, but we define personality problem as somebody who has difficulty with intimate relationships. I know it makes no sense. Personality disorder does not mean you have a bad personality; in fact, sociopaths often have lovely personalities; it’s part of their trick, part of the manipulation. The definition means you have not just the typical trouble with intimate relationships that we all have but the extreme problems. Such as, you can’t maintain long-standing intimate relationships. What goes into maintaining long-standing intimate relationships? That way, you can maintain long-term relationships, and you don’t have a personality disorder and therefore are not by definition a narcissist or a sociopath. How to how to raise a child who does not have a personality disorder, means you have to understand what goes behind that. Understanding what the foundation is of maintaining intimate relationships. The key here is to have a good sense in capabilities to give and take, you can give and take. Another way of putting that is to have a good capacity to control yourself and to put up boundaries with the other person. Notice, I didn’t say control yourself and control others. A big problem parents have is controlling themselves and putting up boundaries, which helps a child control themselves. Also, the capacity to change your parenting style as the child grows up. So many parents are using the same techniques for punishment and discipline when the child’s a teenager as when the child was three. Makes no sense, right? But it happens all the time. Three areas to focus on: Controlling yourself Putting up a boundary with a child Changing your parenting techniques Controlling yourself (taking care of yourself). There are lots of things that children do that they need to do, to have healthy self-esteem, to feel autonomous, to feel grown-up, to feel separate from their …

How to Deal With Sociopaths and Narcissists in Your Life

Sociopaths and Narcissists How to deal with sociopaths and narcissists, in other words, how to deal with difficult people in your life. This is an important topic because sometimes people don’t see it if they weren’t taught about narcissists or sociopaths or provided the tools to see the red flags. The difference mainly between sociopaths and narcissists are sociopaths are equated to monsters and narcissists are equated to full of themselves or stuck-up and this is somewhat true. The proper term for a sociopath is an antisocial personality disorder, that does not mean you don’t like to go to parties. Antisocial personality disorder means essentially that you’re a criminal. Sociopath is the layperson’s term for that. Basically, it’s somebody who doesn’t just break the law but breaking the law is a way for them to get distance from people. They can’t do relationships. This is a truism that a lot of people don’t understand, not everybody can do relationships. They don’t realize it, it’s unconscious. This is not them saying they’re going to fake a relationship, it is unconscious. That terminology is personality disorder when someone has difficulty or impossibility to create a substantial, healthy, intimate relationship. We call it a personality disorder and then there are different flavors. Closeness feels threatening. Narcissism is when the closeness gets to be too much for these people. Closeness feels threatening. If your healthy, closeness feels good but to people with personality disorders it feels threatening; so they break the closeness. Again, not consciously but they’ll break the closeness by putting another person down and putting themselves up. Narcissists have to break that closeness by belittling a person or being mean. In a relationship they can’t both be good at something, it has to be “I’m better and you’re not.” They have to do this to break the closeness. Sociopaths break the law to break the closeness or keep secrets from you. So breaking the law is a way of breaking any tie with society. “I’m not going to follow the societal rules, I do it my way.” So they break the societal rules and they break the closeness with you because they have a secret. It’s a way of pushing everybody out and to keep himself from feeling close. So the problem is people think if someone really can’t handle closeness then they’d be a hermit, right? If someone is a hermit, …