Anxiety and Phobias the Down and Dirty

Phobias, anxiety, disorders, and the unconscious.

hello happy Tuesday!  It is a good Tuesday because I got a visit from Lola.  


Just so everyone knows, Lola is my mom she was lives locally around here. Lolo is my dad.  They stopped by after Mass today to drop off some snacks to Dr. Dabney and my dad also wanted to check on her plant.   Also another perfect surprise was Ava just running through the office she’s adorable.


That’s why we couldn’t finish our talk last time about anxiety. I panicked because Joelle was anxious to get her kids so o we had to cut it short.


So we’re not going to do that today.  we’re gonna continue our talk on panic and anxiety good with that so


that’s a good point to point out if you have an anxiety about something then it’s not a mental disorder.


yeah so if you know what the reason is then it’s, actually a normal reaction.

a normal reaction that you’re anxious about, like picking up the little munchkins on time.  


people come in and anxiety they don’t


know why and that’s when it becomes


interesting or they think they know why


and it might not be the real why right




so that’s what we dig in and do our work


because that’s really that’s what’s most


exciting it’s like being a detective


because you have to find out what it is


because it’s unconscious right and why

is it unconscious because it hurts it

hurts right right there’s some pain

there there’s something I’m septa below

yeah which is painful that you know your

brain is smart

most people’s brains are sparse it wants

to cover up pain it doesn’t want to feel

pain so it’s like this jujitsu you’re

doing with yourself you like I want to

know why they don’t wanna know why I

don’t know why but I don’t wanna know so

our job is to get glimpses of that as it

comes to the surface and

pull it out help them understand in a

safe place where they know that yes it’s

gonna hurt but supposed to get and it’s


brief and it’s not you’re never Burghley

and it never hurts as much as they

imagined or you imagine that it’s like a

it’s like a it’s like a memory from when

you were a child and you didn’t have the

capacity to deal with pain and difficult

situations like you do now so almost

always it’s painful but not you see like

ripping off a band-aid type of pain just

getting it and it’s there it’s also not

the fantasy or that I’m not fancy be

dramatic spin that Hollywood puts on it

is it some secret some horrible secret

from childhood it’s never that actually

well not never but it’s rarely that it’s

usually something as simple as a

negative feeling towards some body that

you love that you feel unacceptable

about if you feel it’s unacceptable to

do something like that or some feeling

or thought you had or I you know I’ve

talked to patients about I have a

fantasy about hurting somebody or

maiming somebody they feel so guilty

about it but they’ve just been trying to

bury it all this time and I’m saying the

fantasies are normal but there’s a lot

of people who do not believe that and

some lovely do not believe it’s normal

to have fantasies about any feeling or

doing anything I would use my Stephen

King approach Stephen King would be in

jail if we thought weird fantasies were

against the law that’s right big

difference between thinking and acting

okay so you talked about your the int

phobia yeah but I’ve been over the last

week and I really have been thinking

about okay what what about ants what why

do I feel that way during that but then

also I’m like I can’t figure out I can’t


figure it out I feel as if it was

something that must have happened you

know when I was younger whether it could

have been something where sorry Lola but

like maybe my mom forced me to do

something and when I was forced to do it


over the place so maybe there was anger

towards my mom that now my brain thinks

love his pants I’m not sure it’s hard to

be angry at her because she’s so nice

and she’s nice to you you think this is


no she’s very nice to me with you I’m

just kidding over but it’s different I

know you’re different with our children

there we are with other people yes it’s

funny but it well so it could be

something like that so you’re on the

right track


I’m just not sure I’m not sure but it’s

typically so it could also be something

remembered symbolism is very abstract so

it could be something along the lines of

what does because you said they’re

little crawly things yeah so what is

little crawly things mean I’ll just give

you an example sometimes little crawly

things means invasive so is somebody

been invasive get them all over you

can’t really see it that’s what I would

do in a session I would say okay thanks

we’re on the right track because I know

you’re eliciting a response from me

right so it could be somebody who is a

mean or forcing you that could be an

invasion it’s probably off a chronic

invasive person in of my space right in

your space or wanting you to do

something that you didn’t want to do so

there’s a forcing that you know we’re

listening to your viewpoint on something

forcing their viewpoint on you or you

had that sense that they were right okay

sometimes it isn’t as black and white as

they were really doing it

yeah right and then instead of having

the anger at the person being invasive

because that’s overwhelming I got angry

dance getting ready right I hate ants

not whoever XYZ right okay so that’s

general how it goes maybe I’ll get over

my fear one day if I can figure out who

I was mad at and why and why and what’s

and then solid so then we go then we

would go to the Y life invasion if

someone’s invasive controlling demanding

however you know whatever flavor you

want to make that then the anger is all

normal and that’s your clue that you

need to put a boundary

remember our boundary talk right yeah so

because people have this the next fear

is so once I face the fear at the person


for being the anger at the person for

being invasive and the guilt sets in

because you have a fantasy of wanting to

hurt the person or yell at the person or

giving to the person or invade them back

and all that but that’s just a clue

that’s your minds way of saying okay

well I can’t do that that’s not

acceptable so I just just need a bit of

a boundary then nobody gets hurt from

the ants the ant invasion so when it

comes to so at least like slips phobias

Dom names IDs really the same I was

about to say when it comes to anxiety

it’s a very similar situation because

people don’t know how to deal with some

type of emotion so they you know the

anxiety symptoms come out exactly so the

panic is when there’s a physical

something in the environment that you’ve

put all your feelings on it’s that thing

creature situation that’s causing this

not a person generalized anxiety it’s a

chronic feeling of anxiety so there’s

something not specific bringing that to

my could be another person acting in

that way it could be a reminder or some

other thing or just a thought going

through your head that brings that all

up but it’s the same process going on


oh the unconscious oh and then I just

want to UM before we go any further

Joelle kindly reminded me last time that

you all may not know that when I give a

patient scenario it’s not real whenever

I write or talk about patients and so

automatic now is I’ve been doing this

for years it’s always a mash up yeah

that’s turn might be to checks on to

dementia so it’s like three people’s

phobias put together as one my presented

as one so everybody’s protected


the ant one is real that was a true that’s a

real I’m real and that ant phobia is real



hopefully by the end of this I’ll have

dealt with it we’ll see see like see all

my Tuesday patients going I’m not

telling her that because she’s my

facebook tell everybody that about my

fear of ants

so no no don’t do that it says automatic

now if I were to give a patient example

it’s a mash-up yeah and we will be

holding Joelle’s hand through her

process of working out the oh yeah into

this that works see you Thursday

all right have a good day