How to Overcome Porn Addiction

 How to overcome porn addiction. Pornography addiction brings up such a sense of overwhelming helplessness whether you have the addiction or you know somebody who has this addiction or you are in a relationship with someone who has this addiction. It can bring up those feelings in all parties, and it tends to lead to people doing the wrong thing. They get a little panicky and start ordering and making rules and kicking people out. That is understandable, but it can sometimes make things worse. Let’s talk from a doctor’s perspective about what typically causes porn addiction so we can understand it, and how to overcome porn addiction. If we can understand it, then we can fix it. That’s medicine in a nutshell right there.  So what it causes porn addiction? In my experience, pornography addiction covers up something else. People get very busy and very involved in this inanimate stuff, as a way to cover up something within ourselves. Those three things that people cover up are three emotions, actually. Anger, neediness, and sadness. These three emotions, more than any other emotions, cause terrible conflict in people. My 20 years of experience everybody who’s come in with pornography addiction has conflicts with one or more of those emotions. What is that about? What do I mean by conflict?  Anger Anger, for instance, people who feel anger especially toward someone they love or care about, it can bring up tremendous guilt as if they shouldn’t have this anger; as if it’s not normal to have this anger. Or they think if they express this anger, it’s going to lead to hurting that person. So they get very busy burying the anger emotion. They won’t admit it to themselves; or dare say it, ever. They get very involved in burying it. So pornography is a way instead of saying to your significant other, “Hey I’m really annoyed or angry that you’ve let our sex life slide.” or “Hey, I’m really upset that you aren’t interested in sex anymore,” or, “I’m upset we don’t have a closer relationship.” Instead, they just pretend that angers not even there, and they’re going to use pornography instead. Oh, by the way, a lot of the times people who are bearing anger accidentally let their spouse find out about the pornography use, so then the spouse ends up getting punished, right? The act of anger …

Men and Emotions

There’s still a stigma in our society that makes it hard for men to show their emotions and keep their masculinity. Women have come a long way with their ability to emote; emoting has always been more acceptable for women. In the past, women had trouble with aggression. Now women can be in the workforce, go for gold medals, and be on sports teams. Women have bridged the gap in aggression & passivity and emoting & action better than men. Men have not caught up in terms of their ability to show their emotions and feel masculine intact. We have devoted our attention to executive men with relationship problems because they have a history, where they’re encouraged to be aggressive, and are rewarded for being aggressive in the workplace. At home or in an intimate relationship- men act aggressive, and they get “in trouble,” or they get passive and get “in trouble.” They aren’t able to say what they really want or what they really need, which causes the relationship to go south. How men and women deal with certain emotions differently An example of an emotional difference between men and women is anger and how they express it. Women struggle with anger by having the thoughts that anger is not okay, or it’s wrong. Whereas when men get angry, they are terrified that the anger is going to lead to becoming physical and that they will actually hurt somebody. Men fear that if they admit they are angry, then their next step is to hurt someone. How to properly handle anger The way to correctly handle anger is to think about the anger, emote, and deal with the anger; as a result, the anger will not build and blow. Would you like to learn more about men and their emotional health? Head over to https://drldabney.com/free-relationship-advice-articles/ to find dozens of free self-help articles.

How to Be Selfish

  It’s imperative to know how to be selfish, to have better relationships. It may sound crazy to say you need to learn how to be selfish in order to help your relationship, but it’s absolutely true. I’ve helped thousands of successful men create the relationship of their dreams, and it all starts the same way. Are you helping everyone, but yourself? These men come to me, having helped everybody in their lives. Including their communities, their co-workers, their families, and their partners, but they don’t know the first thing about themselves. Knowing Yourself If you can’t understand how you feel, what you want,  what your dreams are then you’re never going to make that a reality. If you don’t know your hopes, and your thoughts, you’re never going to be able to express them well and then create them. It’s not only okay to be selfish to take the time to understand you, but it’s also a necessary first step to get the relationship that you’ve always wanted. It’s not mean to be selfish, and it’s essential to take the time to learn about yourself and all these particular areas. That way, you can then reach out and create fabulous relationships. Remember, it’s imperative to be selfish to have better relationships. Find more articles about being SELFish and relationships at drldabney.com and lauradabney.com

Stop Always Picking the Wrong Partner!

stop picking the wrong partner and why you may be doing it we’re live!  hi we’re back getting settled. Laura Dabney relationship psychotherapist and Joelle Brant Relationship coach. We are  here talking to you about the problems we see every day and that we want to share with you. As a result, maybe we can give you help across the airwaves as opposed to you coming in or picking up the phone.   we’d rather you pick up the phone and come in but some people are really afraid. So, if you come in maybe we can help you here.    we’ve noticed that a lot so we’re trying to ease your anxiety about coming in. Since we started, you know we’ve been talking about several things that have come to our attention or we’ve gotten requests from certain people to discuss some topics.    I was telling Joelle that I’ve had several requests now to talk about the topic why do I keep picking the wrong partner we laugh because that’s a very common concern issue yeah all the above yep that people call about or come in about all the time so we know that’s a ubiquitous problem and I don’t know if there’s really one answer right probably multi fold reasons or it could be one reason for someone another reason for another but it usually kind of comes down to a few tendencies I think or a combination of these tendencies that we’ve touched on before but maybe we talked about the combination how it’s like a lethal combination of tendencies so we talked about red flags right so there are people who have obvious obvious obvious problems with relationships or relating to people and there are people who miss those red flags yeah they don’t want to see them for one reason or another we usually talk about those red flags sort of I’ve written paper where they listed 50 of them so instead of doing that they tend to fall into these these categories one being self-care mm-hmm I’m not able to care for themselves and that could be can’t hold a job self-mutilate sore self harms those kind of things like always being late is one thing right that I’m late ya know that y’all mentioned right that often leads to well that sometimes leads to not be able to care for himself right now you have …