couple holding on to each other

Marriage Therapy Success Story

From Rocky Shores to Smooth Sailing: Hannah and Joe’s Story in Marriage Therapy “Joe” and “Hannah” knew their marriage was in serious trouble. “We were at the end of our rope,” Joe said. “It was either go to counseling or separate.” Hannah agreed. “Neither one of us wanted to give up. So we decided that if we weren’t going to give up, we needed to find someone to help us fix whatever we could.” Marriage therapy wasn’t a choice that came quickly for either one of them. Joe had an open aversion to therapy and believed it carried a stigma — asking for help wasn’t a good thing. As for Hannah, she’d been to therapy when she was younger, and it hadn’t proven to be a positive experience. “It made me feel singled out, like the only one with problems,” she said. And yet, they knew neither one of them was happy with the state of the relationship. They described their marriage as disconnected and confusing. “We didn’t know what to do,” said Hannah. “We just weren’t happy with each other.” What they did know was they’d committed themselves to find expert help. So Joe went online, and that’s how he found Dr. Dabney. They both agreed she fit the idea of what they were looking for in a therapist, plus, added Joe, “I liked that she had so many testimonials and so much information available on her website.” Their experiences in Dr. Dabney’s office was almost entirely different than what they expected. “For starters,” said Joe, “you do almost all the talking.” Hannah agreed and added, “It’s great that she’s able to listen to you and pinpoint the things you need to learn about yourself. She asks the right  questions and gets right to the heart of the issue.” Said Joe, “She’s not going to ask you to change. She may ask you to adopt a different perspective, but not change who you are. We never walked out of there confused or feeling like one of us was at fault.” Dr. Dabney was so effective. Hannah and Joe estimated that their counseling lasted only about three months, start to finish. One of the best takeaways for both of them is that they aren’t responsible for each other’s happiness. And they learned to adjust their communication accordingly. As Hannah put it, “We used to feel guilty if we made each …