Pathological Altruism, When helping is not the best answer

Pathological Altruism is helping hurts.   hello must be Thursday it is Thursday you like Monday still no feels like a Thursday but that’s good a rainy nasty nasty sure snow again still on microphone and it matches your dress so what do we want to talk about today well so we were talking about the how people will be on aha moments where people go my god which we love right so the negative feelings so negative things can be positive but that was last week’s mm-hmm people think feeling angry needy or sad or or bad or wrong or whatever they think something bad about that and we teach them that those are not only normal but they can be really good for you to understand that feel those feel them deal with them basically so let’s talk about the OP because the opposite is true to something that people think is good is not so good like pathological altruism no yeah okay so that’s a phrase I have to teach a lot of patience right pathological altruism it’s a mouthful but parents know somebody like that yes the pathological altruism is sort of how it sounds where people are helping others but at their expense so they don’t realize this so they’re helping helping helping often with the idea that if I helped enough and someone’s gonna help me but what ends up happening is they become furious because no one helps them it helps them they don’t realize that’s the string attached to the help see so it ends up being really disruptive in that way because they don’t they themselves don’t know how to ask for what they need which goes back to our neediness so people who have pathological altruism as one of their defenses you know gives gives gives gives and then gets angry when nobody gives back but they’ve missed a little portion of not being able to tell someone what they needed this is a moment where the student becomes the teacher so beautifully and you’ve learned that over the – over time but as you pointed out it always comes back to these three emotions same with us we do the neediness anger and sadness right so you’re absolutely right so people have trouble with neediness cover it up by saying I’ll help you and then I won’t have to …