Life After Divorce for Men- A Dating After Divorce Success Story
After Two Divorces, Elliot Discovers Why He’s the One Who’s Hard to be With
No one goes into a marriage, hoping for divorce. We marry for love, not for the betrayal, arguing, guilt, and worry that comes with a break-up. Life after divorce for men or anyone can be difficult. Not to mention the cost of lawyers, filings, spousal, and child support. It’s so awful, why would anyone risk marriage again?
Even worse, what happens when you go through it all over again?
Unfortunately, the risk of divorce actually rises with each marriage. While 50% of all first marriages end in divorce, nearly 80% of third marriages end up there. In other words, we don’t get better at relationships, we actually get worse, unless we take serious steps to learn from the past. Life after divorce for men can be tricky, but taking steps to participate in programs such as the Dating After Divorce coaching service can help you navigate your new life.
This is one of the reasons we’ve had so much success with our Dating After Divorce coaching services. Nobody wants to go through the pain of divorce, but neither do we have a clear idea of what we need to do differently next time.
Case Study: Elliot
Like so many of my clients, “Elliot” had big ideas and an ability to bring them to life. He was a successful restaurateur and lived a good life. The trouble was, he was also divorced twice and was devastated over a recent break-up.
By the time we met, he was nearly convinced that he always picked the wrong women.
The interesting thing about Elliot, however, was that he didn’t make the mistakes I see so many men make in their relationships. He didn’t get involved with women who showed red flags like substance or abuse legal and financial trouble, and he did his best to pay attention to the relationship. Elliot wasn’t committing to troubled women, and he wasn’t running away from conflict.
He was a Red Flag to Others
Instead, Elliot was the person women found it hard to be with. He, himself, was a red flag to others.
Elliot participated in Coaching and changed all that. With guidance, Elliot learned how to successfully date after divorce by learning to spot the things he was doing to harm his relationships. He learned that he had a habit of placing blame, saying things like “Your problem is …”, which put his partner on the defensive and ended up in an argument. With coaching, he learned to state his feelings in a way that helped his partner understand him better. He also learned how to listen to what she felt without hearing it as blame.
With coaching, Elliot became much more aware of how his actions and his communication affected his relationships. At one point, he even drafted scripts of how to discuss difficult subjects with his girlfriend so that we could practice them together during a session, to ensure his real conversations would go more smoothly.
A New Beginning
Even better, these new skills changed the dynamic of his relationship for the better, and it grew much stronger. Arguments became rare, and what he said once “felt like beating his head against a wall” now felt like a “playlist of the possible.”
Dating after divorce coaching helped Elliot learn to spot the red flags he exhibited successfully in his relationships and correct them, which lead to successful dating after divorce.
No one sets out to get divorced, and Elliot’s story demonstrates just how common it is for people to try so hard, to have such good intentions, and still fail. It also demonstrates the power of insight, that the right information and guidance may be all we need to rewrite our future.